The Bible's SHOCKING Wife Commands That Modern Marriages Ignore!
Have you ever wondered why modern marriages seem to struggle with the same issues generation after generation? The answer might surprise you. While many couples turn to the Bible for marital guidance, certain commands and principles are often overlooked, misunderstood, or outright ignored in today's Christian marriages. What if I told you that the Bible contains specific instructions for wives that could transform your relationship, yet most couples never implement them?
The Biblical Foundation of Marriage
The Bible provides specific instructions for wives and husbands, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect, love, and submission within the marital relationship. These instructions are primarily found in the New Testament, where the Apostle Paul addresses the roles and responsibilities of both spouses in the context of a Christian marriage.
In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul outlines a revolutionary concept that was counter-cultural even in his time. He instructs wives to "submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord," while also commanding husbands to "love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This isn't about hierarchy or control; it's about a profound spiritual partnership.
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The dangers of spiritual craving often manifest in marriages when couples let their desires overtake their obedience to biblical principles. When we cherry-pick which commands to follow and which to ignore, we create an imbalanced foundation that can lead to resentment, misunderstanding, and ultimately, marital breakdown.
What the Bible Really Says About Wives Obeying Their Husbands
Let's address the elephant in the room: the concept of wives obeying their husbands. This topic has become increasingly controversial in modern Christian circles, but what does the Bible actually say?
The word "obey" appears in the King James Version of the Bible, but many modern translations use "submit" instead. The Greek word used in Ephesians 5:22 is "hupotasso," which means to place oneself under, to yield, or to cooperate. This is vastly different from the concept of blind obedience or subjugation.
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In the Bible, husbands are commanded to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25), while wives are commanded to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22). But here's the crucial point: you will be hard-pressed to find a verse that commands spouses to trust each other unconditionally. The only person Christians are commanded to trust unconditionally is God.
This distinction is vital. Submission in the biblical sense is about creating a harmonious partnership where both spouses fulfill their God-given roles, not about one person having absolute authority over another.
Five Things Christians Get Wrong About Wives Respecting Their Husbands
Many Christians misunderstand the concept of respect in marriage. Here are five common misconceptions:
1. Respect is earned, not given. While it's true that respect can grow through actions, the Bible calls wives to respect their husbands regardless of whether they feel they deserve it. This doesn't mean tolerating abuse, but rather choosing to honor the position God has given your husband.
2. Submission means inferiority. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Bible teaches that husbands and wives are equal in worth but different in function. Just as different parts of the body have different roles, so do spouses in marriage.
3. Modern interpretations advocate for partnership over hierarchy. While partnership is important, completely abandoning biblical hierarchy can lead to confusion and conflict. The Bible advocates for a structure where both partners submit to Christ first, then to each other in love.
4. Respect is only about actions. True respect encompasses thoughts, words, and attitudes. It's about how you speak to your husband, think about him, and represent him to others.
5. Cultural context doesn't matter. Understanding the historical context of biblical passages helps us apply them correctly today. The principles remain the same, but their application may look different in modern society.
The Value of Respect and Honor in Marriage
Seeking respect and honor as we explore Bible verses about the wife's role, we are also reminded of the value of respect and honor in a marriage. Wives are encouraged to carry themselves in a way that commands respect, both in their actions and in how they support their husbands.
Proverbs 31:23 describes the virtuous woman's husband as being "known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land." This suggests that a wife's conduct and support directly impact her husband's reputation and effectiveness in society.
The Bible never calls a wife to respect her husband in the sense of blind admiration. Rather, it's about creating an environment where mutual respect can flourish through intentional choices and actions.
25 Important Bible Verses About Wives and Biblical Duties of a Wife
Understanding the biblical role of a wife requires examining multiple scriptures. Here are some key verses that outline the responsibilities and characteristics of a godly wife:
- Ephesians 5:22 - "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord"
- Proverbs 31:10 - "An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels"
- 1 Peter 3:1-2 - "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives"
- Titus 2:4-5 - "And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands"
- Proverbs 12:4 - "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones"
These verses paint a picture of a wife who is valuable, influential, and actively engaged in building her household and supporting her husband.
The Controversial Topic: The Contentious Wife
This might sound controversial, but the Bible talks more about the abusive wife than the abusive husband. She's called the contentious wife—and Scripture says much about her destructive influence.
Proverbs 21:9 states, "It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife." This isn't about suppressing women's voices but about the damage caused by constant criticism, nagging, and conflict.
The contentious wife is characterized by:
- Constant complaining and criticism
- Disrespectful communication
- Undermining her husband's authority
- Creating an atmosphere of tension and conflict
This doesn't mean husbands are never at fault, but the Bible specifically warns against the dangers of a wife who consistently creates strife in the home.
Modern Interpretations and Partnership Over Hierarchy
Many modern Christian teachers advocate for partnership over hierarchy, fostering open communication and nurturing. While these are valuable principles, they shouldn't completely replace biblical hierarchy.
The key is understanding that biblical hierarchy isn't about control or domination. It's about order and function within the family unit. Just as Christ submitted to God the Father while being equal in divinity, wives can submit to husbands while being equal in worth.
Modern interpretations often focus on:
- Open and honest communication
- Shared decision-making
- Mutual submission in areas of disagreement
- Partnership in parenting and household management
These are all valuable practices, but they should complement, not replace, biblical principles.
Ten Commandments of a Successful Marriage
Judge Joseph Sabbath, after twenty years' experience in presiding over what he called the nightmare world of the divorce courts, framed ten commandments of a successful marriage which, he predicted, could prevent at least ninety percent of marital smashups:
- Thou shalt not take thy partner for granted.
- Thou shalt not expect perfection.
- Thou shalt not let the sun go down on your wrath.
- Thou shalt not be silent when words of love are needed.
- Thou shalt not forget the little courtesies.
- Thou shalt not hide thy love, nor thy hate.
- Thou shalt not neglect thy appearance.
- Thou shalt not be overly suspicious.
- Thou shalt not be a martyr.
- Thou shalt not forget thy vows.
These principles align closely with biblical teachings and provide practical guidance for modern marriages.
The Contract: Consumer Relationship vs. Covenant
The root of modern marriage confusion lies in treating marriage as a consumer relationship—one we keep as long as it meets our needs. This mirrors the spiritual danger of discontentment, similar to what we see when believers let their desires overtake their obedience.
Marriage, which is essential to God's plan of happiness, was instituted among our first parents, Adam and Eve, even before the Fall. In every dispensation since, prophets bearing the Holy Priesthood have taught God's eternal plan and have been witnesses to the central nature of marriage and the family in that plan.
One of those prophets was Paul. During his ministry in the meridian of time, he emphasized that marriage is a covenant, not a contract. A contract is based on mutual benefit and can be broken when those benefits cease. A covenant is a sacred promise before God that transcends feelings and circumstances.
Resolving Communication Problems in Marriages
Communication problems are among the most common issues couples face. Here are practical strategies for improving communication:
1. Practice active listening. This means truly hearing what your spouse is saying without planning your response while they're talking.
2. Use "I" statements. Instead of saying "You always..." try "I feel..." This reduces defensiveness and promotes understanding.
3. Establish regular check-in times. Set aside dedicated time to discuss concerns, dreams, and plans.
4. Learn your spouse's love language. Understanding how your partner gives and receives love can transform your communication.
5. Seek professional help when needed. There's no shame in seeking counseling to improve communication patterns.
Conclusion: Embracing Biblical Principles in Modern Marriage
The Bible's instructions for wives aren't outdated rules meant to suppress women; they're divine principles designed to create harmony, respect, and lasting love in marriage. When we understand and implement these commands correctly, we discover that they lead to freedom rather than bondage, partnership rather than oppression.
The key is to approach these principles with wisdom, understanding the cultural context, and applying them in ways that honor both God's Word and the unique dynamics of your relationship. Marriage as a covenant before God requires commitment, sacrifice, and intentional effort from both partners.
As you reflect on these biblical commands, ask yourself: Which principles am I ignoring that could strengthen my marriage? How can I better fulfill my God-given role as a wife while also honoring my husband's leadership? The answers to these questions might just transform your relationship in ways you never imagined.
Remember, the goal isn't perfect adherence to rules but rather building a marriage that reflects Christ's love for the Church—a love that is sacrificial, patient, kind, and enduring. When we align our marriages with God's design, we discover the true joy and fulfillment that comes from living according to His perfect plan.
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